Awesome Kid!

Fred has Mad Swagger

Nostalgia is a bit creepy.

I'm sure when I first saw this, I thought this was awesome. And now, 106 views later, I'm still standing by my earlier statement.



Back in the 80's pro wrestling was everywhere. I had all the magazines and all the action figures. I knew who the "good guys" and the "bad guys" were, but I still knew that it was all just fun. The worst thing that ever happened to a guy was getting a drum broken on his head.

This is My New Ring Tone

Thank you to Chris for finding this and slapping me in the face with it.

And the flowers are still standing!

My parents didn't love me enough to get me one of these....

I would have been the coolest kid on the block. Instead, I had a big wheel with a rusty axle.

Music Leson #2

The Music Lesson

Time Traveler

Sometimes, a little cuteness goes a long way...

This Guy is My Hero For the Day

See more funny videos and TBT Videos at Today's Big Thing.

Poserism

At no point in history, have there been so many fake people in America. I say America because I can say with a certain degree of certainty that "poserism" is an American phenomenon.

Listen, I am proud of the right to be a poser. This country was founded on principles of poserism. "All men are created equal (except black people)" etc. You get what I mean, I hope.

I just recently started getting into Kurt Vonnegut. Now, some of you are already saying,

 "Vonnegut? What a poser."

But really, he is generally accepted as a great American thinker and a progressive, well, human.

One of my favorite Vonnegut quotes is his explanation of the moral to Mother Night where he says,

"We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be." 

I'll leave it to you to actually read the book or watch the movie (which awesomely stars Nick Nolte), but the basic point is that once we sacrifice what we actually believe in, we become whatever it is we are pretending to be. Whether we do it for a woman, a job, a social status, or some sort of misguided patriotism, we are bound to lose ourselves to this replacement personality that we create.

Examples of Posers:

HIPSTERS - These are the guys that wont tell you what music they are listening to because if anyone but them have heard of the band, they cease to be "underground" and thus automatically mainstream and un-hip. In addition, the boys wear really tight pants and stupid jewelry that represents their "individuality".  They also claim to know nothing about the World because they don't watch TV.  There's a lot of cool stuff going on around you if you are just willing to share a little of your precious time with the rest of us common sheep.

POLITICAL NUTS - I'm sure we've seen the kooks that are on in a 4-hour block on the cable "news" networks. Hannity, Cavuto, Olberman, The Chick, The Fat Guy with the drug addiction, etc. Not to say that these guys are always lying but most often, they are spewing fact after fact and spinning them into some sort of conspiracy or name-calling playground pissing-contest. When even the hosts of the shows themselves begin to talk about who gets better ratings and more viewers, how can you trust that anything you are seeing is more than mere pandering? Maybe you can, but I sure can't. These guys begin to represent ideas that they may not even believe themselves for the sake of viewership. I'd rather watch William Wallace vs. Shaka Zulu on Deadliest Warrior anyway.

RELIGIOUS HATERS - I believe in God. I'm pretty sure God is cool with all people. God doesn't hate. God loves, so stop being a hateful bigot. Stop trying to make gay people in criminals (especially if you make it your life's work and then take a male prostitute on your cabin cruiser). Just tolerate. I know deep down inside you don't give a hoot if Johnny and Jimmy are picking out china at the Pottery Barn so leave them alone and go back to watching Two and a Half Men.

Also, can we stop with the guidos already? Jeesh.

People I want to Meet

So I've spent the last few days compiling a list of people I want to meet. By "meet" I mean hang out with and have a beer. And by "have a beer", I mean get really wasted and contemplate the meaning of life. And by "meaning of life", I mean watch Family Guy on TBS.


I noticed there are a lot of criminals and porn stars on this list. Maybe because I'm such a complete panty-waste myself, I want to see what it's like to hang out with a badass and still leave with my lunch money.


In no particular order (partial list).

Katie Morgan, Porn Star -  This chick just seems cool. I saw Zach and Miri Make a Porno the other night and aside from her and Jason Mewes teaching me the term "Dutch Rudder" (google that), the movie was a waste of time (good thing I was making banana bread at the time). She strikes me as the type of girl who would open beer with her teeth and then talk about how much she loved Goonies. She has a show on HBO where she talks about sex toys like she's on Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood. Of course, being a guy, it would be interesting to chat with a porn star anyway to see what makes them tick, but most porn stars just seem like divas. 

Danny Trejo, Actor/Former Criminal - Nobody who knows me is surprised by this one. Sometimes I like to fantasize that I am a member of La Eme  and Danny "Pinche" Trejo looks like the Mexican Luca Brasi. He used to be an armed robber and went to prison for robbing a bank or something. He has actually been hired as a consultant on how to look like a real armed robber. (I once was hired as a consultant on how to look like someone who is really scared of spiders.) Trejo also is apparently a really nice guy. He still works as a drug counselor for kids and stuff which is more than I can say for Gary Busey.

Nick Nolte, Actor/Addict - I wanted to say Gary Busey here, but he would probably monopolize the conversation with talk about how the Moon is telling him to write the next great duck novel or something. Nolte would probably just make a grilled cheese sandwich and watch Hockey Night in Canada with me. Plus, Nolte does more drugs than Cracky Trackmark McMeth, the local drug-doer guy who everyone knows. Oh Cracky, you're such a silly. Once arrested for being under the influence of "date-rape drug" GHB, Nolte stated: "I've been taking it for years, and I've never been raped." BOOSH!


I'll keep updating this list as I feel like it. Not like anyone is reading this anyway.

A View from the Top (Cliche' Title)

Sorry, I'm not much of a blogger. My brain is designed for this blogging stuff but my hands don't like to type. I broke a bunch of fingers a few years ago so now repeated hand movement is the equivalent of setting my hands on fire and putting them out with wet cinder blocks. I digress of course (as usual) because this is a photo blog. So, I guess I owe you a photo. Here's a cool one I took with my HTC Ozone from the observation deck of City Hall. It's a great perspective to see pretty much all of downtown. This particular shot focuses on the currently vacant Statler Hotel. Bonus points to anyone who can name some of the other buildings in this shot!